JEN IS BASED IN SASKATCHEWAN, CANADA. SHE IS LIVING WITH METASTATIC BREAST CANCER.
WHEN SO MUCH HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY,  HUMOUR, STYLE, RESILIENCE, AND CREATIVE DESIRE REMAIN.

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Part III: Legacy Playlist

Here’s my final legacy playlist covering my late 20s to present day. It focuses on favourite artists’ new material, memorable moments, songs I’ve listened to on repeat, and most recently, some darker discoveries.

When adding songs to this list, it surprised me how little there was to choose from. But it’s refreshing compared to my second playlist, covering my early-mid 20s. I found picking songs for that one to be almost overwhelming with too many genres and eras.

This final playlist begins with my move to Toronto in 2010 which changed things for me musically. I worked for HMV for four months (it wasn’t CD Plus, but it was a record store) and I went to lots of concerts seeing my favourites like The Jesus And Mary Chain, Nick Cave, Echo & The Bunnymen, Nick Lowe, Devo, Wire and many more. This is what I needed; it was my big city dream.

Now, this next story I debated sharing. But it’s my truth and it affected my relationship with music, so here goes...

I eventually got a job working full-time in the music industry. It was thrilling to gain new skills, meet new people, converse with Toronto media, and go to clients’ concerts. After a year things started to change. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was slowly starting to burn out.

One of the clues I should have recognized was that I wasn’t listening to my own music for pleasure. I wasn’t going to as many non-work related concerts either. I was mentally exhausted by the time I got home and I wanted silence. I wasn’t seeking out what I needed - changes at work and figuring out how to combat what was an obvious depressive funk taking over.

All this, plus extra relationship stress piled up and created a “necessary breakdown”. Which saw me move back home to Regina to rest and find myself again. When I moved home it was mostly silence that I needed. And it took a long time to get back into loving and discovering music again. A strange thing for someone who in her 20s lived and breathed it.

Getting back on track was difficult. But the ability to choose what I wanted to hear, see, and support certainly helped. Starting my own music Publicity company was also what I needed. It reinstated what I love to do and have done before. Working in the music industry was fun again. I worked on a lot of amazing records and helped many artists. Although I’ve had to fold the business due to my health, I had a good three year run and I’m proud of everything I accomplished.

Currently, my tastes are pared down. I use Spotify. I’m not searching for the newest thing. I don’t care as much or feel a pressure to be in the know. And it’s a good feeling.

I’m searching for what moves me. I’m interested in female vocalists more than ever. I want songs that I can dance to or pieces that are unlike anything I’ve heard before.

Living with my parents has me listening to music mostly in my room like I’m a teenager again. My time for blasting tunes is in the car. After riding transit for three years in Toronto, I’ll always look at driving a car as a luxury. The ability to travel to a destination in your own personal space while singing at the top of your lungs or having a good cry over a song that’s crushing your heart is a great thing.

PART III: Legacy Playlist

The day we met
I was a new fire
Whose heart had been
Drowning for so long
When I was dark
You found a glowing ember
And set my world
Into a blaze again
“Ablaze” School Of Seven Bells

Luna’s Penthouse album was on repeat when I moved to Toronto. It was my city exploring music. It was perfect for walking through new neighbourhoods or riding the streetcar.

I’m fortunate for all the concerts I went to while living in Toronto. Seeing Wire at Lee’s Palace in 2011 is one of my top favourite memories.

Veruca Salt reuniting was everything for me - a super fan, always. Unfortunately, I missed their record release tour. Perchance to dream they schedule a show or tour. I’ll be there in a flash.

I absolutely love this song from School of Seven Bells’ final record. The record features demos the keyboardist/guitarist wrote while going through a Lymphoma diagnosis, of which he passed from in 2013. He and the vocalist were also life partners. The song gets me every time.

I saw Mitski perform at Hamburg’s Reeperbahn Music Festival in 2016. She was magnificent.

I attended Reeperbahn 2016 with my client Poor Nameless Boy and his record label manager. I also met up with them in London for a few concert dates. “30 Photographs” is my favourite song from his album, Bravery which was one of the most rewarding releases I sent to Canadian media.

Seeing PJ Harvey at Massey Hall in April 2017 was like a dream. This trip to Toronto was the last hurrah in a way. As I didn't know it yet, but a month later I'd receive the news that my cancer was growing and I’d need chemotherapy asap.

The Jesus And Mary Chain’s new record is everything. They’re still the coolest.

Discovering Myrkur a few months ago is the best thing to happen to me musically in a long time. 

Wardruna’s track - just wait for it. The percussion is hypnotic and the build-up phenomenal. I find it to be such a refreshing and moving listen.

Wire @ Lee's Palace. Toronto 2011.

Wire @ Lee's Palace. Toronto 2011.

Poor Nameless Boy @ Reeperbahn 2016.  Hamburg Germany

Poor Nameless Boy @ Reeperbahn 2016.  Hamburg Germany

Mitski @ Reeperbahn 2016. Hamburg Germany

Mitski @ Reeperbahn 2016. Hamburg Germany

PJ Harvey @ Massey Hall. Toronto 2017.

PJ Harvey @ Massey Hall. Toronto 2017.

I'm Still Here

Riding Roller Coasters